Comparison and Contentment

I've been dwelling on contentment lately.  What it looks like, what it means, how to actually be content.  A friend loaned me a book on anxiety after I shared with her that I had been struggling with that a lot since becoming a mother.  I want to be a peaceful person, especially as Luca grows up in our home.  The first chapter is all about contentment, and the passage it focuses on is Philippians 4:11-13.  It's funny, I wouldn't have started a book on anxiety with a chapter on contentment - I may have focused on peace, or trust in God, which to me seems to be the opposite of anxiety.  But after reading that chapter and dwelling on the verses, I have found that contentment is very much at the heart of pulling anxiety out of my life.  A content person is not an anxious person, but a peaceful person.  Contentment seems to be a root of all kinds of good traits.

"For I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  

The book I'm reading focuses on how if Paul said he learned the secret to be content, then so can we.  He wasn't more or less holy than us (all of us who believe are clothed with Jesus' righteousness, just as Paul was).  We can learn from his writings and teachings and apply these things to our life, and with the power of God (I can do all things through him who strengthens me) we can learn to be content.  I can imagine if I learn how to be content in any circumstance, that will bring my anxiety level way down!  

As far as I can tell, the times in my life when I've been the least content, comparison lies at the root of it.  I love the quote, "Comparison is the thief of all joy."  It's so true, and comparison can shift so seamlessly into jealousy and bitterness, which is detrimental to friendships and happiness.  These are the sins that I often ignore in myself and pretend they aren't a big deal, yet they are so dangerous!  

Proverbs 14:30
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

I wrote two different blogs about 5 years ago about comparison in general, and comparison and Facebook.  I reread them today, to see where I was then and where I am now in my thoughts/struggles.  Back then I was mostly comparing myself and struggling with contentment in my singleness and body/self-image.  I still struggle with self-image (I would imagine most women do), but since July 10, 2014, my comparison issues have moved from physical beauty to motherhood and all that comes with it.  I can't tell you how many times I've repeated these lies to myself in the last 2 months, "No one's baby is as fussy as mine.  Why are all the babies on Facebook happy and mine isn't?  What am I doing wrong?  I'm not good at this, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm hurting him somehow because otherwise he wouldn't be fussy."  My husband has comforted me through many tears as he tried to help me see these things aren't true.  I am fighting to see myself as God sees me because of Christ, and to see that "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."  He has given (and will keep giving) me the tools I need to be a good mama to Luca*.  I need to stop looking around me and comparing my own situation to someone else's.

I am thankful to God for His many blessings and that He reveals sins to me that I didn't realize were so dangerous, so that I can repent and ask for His help in overcoming them.  

I John 1:5-10  "This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. 6If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

*Luca is exceptionally fussy, and we are doing what we can to figure it out practically (my diet, possible reflux/medication).  This particular post is simply about my heart's attitude toward having a fussy baby.